25-30 weeks pregnant

Between 25 weeks and 30 weeks lots of growing going on and the sensation of baby moving changes and grows stronger. I have noticed that after 30 weeks, my new pattern is active mornings, energy dipping in the afternoon, sometimes with naps or just chilling out on the sofa.

Due to my husband's working patterns, getting up as early as 4am, and my uneasy sleep patterns where I can wake regularly and then not settle for up to a hour, we have been sleeping in separate rooms. Not something that we wanted to do, but it has taken the stress out of things for the both of us. The other week he came down with a cold which then enforced the good, sleeping in different rooms was.

Though it has made me feel low at times, as the physical contact has been low, even more so with lockdown meaning no hugs from family.

To combat this and some negative idea and fears associated with giving birth, being that a shift to a 10 weeks countdown to due date suddenly felt very short and real, I started looking for antenatal classes and looking at videos to help with bathing, changing and tips for the first few days with a new born. All very eye opening and empowering, knowledge is power.

It did take me some time to find the right classes/group for me, most online courses cost anywhere between £34 up to £150, many being life group sessions, which didn’t suit myself or my husband, again due to work patterns and that I like face to face rather than online meetings.
Keeping it focused more on supporting mental health and natural birthing, Hypnobirthing was suggested to me by my midwife, which I've found really energising and supportive for the person I am, as it aims to give power of what happens and how things progress back to the mothers.

Bump to Baby Chapters is the group I'm with, all recorded videos which means you can re-watch over and over again, exercises videos, music etc... low cost which makes it really accessible, Facebook page and also again with the idea of knowledge is power, you have both the physical aspects of what happens, for a first-time mum who has no idea what a contraction could feel like etc, was really helpful and eased fears and worries about how to cope with them and when they could start etc... and this thus supported the mental health aspect, looking at calming methods, positive reinforcements, affirmations and steps.

Using these ideas, I have a board in the kitchen with lots of positive birthing quotes, which is growing as time goes on to include, phone numbers, breathing steps, helpful reminders of things to do, ready for when contractions start, as it‘s highly likely I will be home alone. But it’s also there for anyone who could arrive to support me, parents, sister or partner, that they know what I'd like or can help me in some way, if I'm not able to tell them.

Reaching 35 weeks, which is only 4/5weeks from the due date, makes this the last time I’ll post till after baby has arrived, and so what happens next will be in another blog post.

So at this point, baby room is all ready for the little one, I’ve been talking family and partner through where things are and placing a box downstairs which contains baby changing kit and starting to pack baby bag and assemble my bag ready for the day when everything starts ups.

My Midwife will be coming to do a home visit, which means I can check through what I'd like my birth to be like, get any last advice and tips, hopefully my husband can get the day off work to be here too. Up to now he’s not been able to attend any scans etc... and at this point would most likely help him to unburden himself.

Overall, this journey has been quite lonely, mainly due to the lockdowns and so not being able to meet friends and family with children to get insights and advice, as much as I would have liked. Not working has been both good and bad, good in that I have been able to get things in order and be well prepared, but also trying to pace myself and not have anything to distract myself, like going to work 2 to 3 times a week, has made the weeks feel long.

I have learnt so much about myself, faced fears that I didn’t know I had and also learnt the value in sharing inner feelings, growing as a person as my baby has grown and let go of attachments to self in the process, or at least seen unhealthy ones that I'm working on letting go of.

Got very creative in this process as well, made a baby mobile, sensory felt toys and almost got a blanket finished, which I might ask someone else to finish if baby comes sooner than later.

Photo: Hand embroidery, with fabric paint background and patchwork layers.
Patches made by friends and family being joined together to create a baby blanket.

Each day baby is growing, I can feel all his turns and stretches. It really is a wonderful, surreal feeling. I can feel his feet pushing agents my belly, and although I’m trying to not get impatient and enjoy these moment, including all the uncomfortable bits too, I can’t wait to hold this little bundle, see him stretch and hold on to his little feet.

The last of the baby stuff arrived, my dad’s blue silver cross pram, which he was sent when I was born and came all the way from Scotland. A rocking chair that my parents used when we (me and my sister) were small, and blankets from my husbands Gran.

A lot of extra weight being carried, so doing far less and with my due date 2/3 weeks away I’m not worrying at all about things I can’t do. Even going out for walks is only when I have the energy, as I have a wear a bump support else I get stitches. But I can still sit on the floor, cross my legs, get my soaks on and squat without to much fuss, and also I don’t get back ache, so I take the good with the bad.

I feel that it’s very important to not let the bad things pull you down, find a new rhythm and flow of life, because our bodies are truly amazing, they do so much without us directing them to do it, and when we learn to listen and trust in ourselves miracles happen.

That’s me signing off till after baby arrives.

Rose will return with: Modern Art in St Ives

The Surprise Gift of Life: Part 2