Beckoned by Illusion and Dreams: A Tale from the Trail by John Proctor
On the trail in English Lake district.
Early bird catches the worm
For me it began at an early age. I would get up hours before school and go running along the stream in the local Oak woodlands. On many occasion I wouldn’t make it into school. Adventure had gripped me and with it, came many risks.
Ultimately this cost me any chance of an early academic education. Teachers in their class rooms, their lectures and demand for uniform conformity had nothing of interest for me. Painful submission via physical punishments such has the cane only served to strengthen my dislike for them.
Long days wandering within the Oaks and the jungle of the city would replace school. Having fun with friends, daring and challenging each other, climbing drain pipes, running over buildings and jumping off roofs.
Mischievous adventures awaited, and along with other likeminded characters, I would fully engage and explore. Leaving school and living in the city, uneducated and unemployed I began the downward spiral into criminality drugs and violence.
There was risk, they were high; Prison, paranoia, drug addiction, death and poverty. Sanctuary and enlightenment rewarded the committed.
“I shivered soaked to the skin” - hiding under a bush.
“I held my breath and lowered my heart rate” - as the police used search lights to find me.
“I shuddered; the wooden steak spilt open my scalp” - as I fought another man.
“I held out my thumb” - as I hitch hiked to the mountains. My rucksack contained all I required for a few days, the city was draining, I needed space.
“A burst of colour vibrated spiralling through my vision” - a tab of Ecstasy.
“An image of light and space floated around me” - a trip from the mushrooms.
“A rainbow vortex appeared, the door way to reality” - a tab of LSD
“I held out my thumb” - as I hitch hiked back to the mountains, my mind had been opened and I needed to see.
Sense the Freedom
The 1000m Granite West Face of the Peti Dru
I’d reached out to education through college and university, a slow drip of exposure began through adventure pursuits like rock climbing and potholing. New and interesting experiences began to develop my thirst for knowledge.
As I moved away from the sanctuary of criminality I looked to the future and dreamed. Those dreams bared fruit as I took risks and committed, local adventures led to faraway places and a new type of connected friendship.
Climbing, running and skiing, my rucksack containing all I required, the life of a climber, simple in need and rich in experience. I became stronger mentally and physically through a dedication to train and learn.
I realised personal wealth for me would not come in the form a large bank balance or property portfolio. My wealth would be of personal experiences, adventure would be the route and commitment; the cost.
“Can you see it john”
“See what Jim”
“Up their man, that UFO”
“NO”
“That’s cos you’re not meant to see it man”
Jim was right I wasn’t meant to see it! I could, however smell it; sitting in a forest of thick, ancient pines. Engulfed by 1000m high walls of granite, the scent hung sweet in the air has I took a deep, slow breath.
Total focus was required as we climbed up super steep hard and technical granite rock, baked by the sun in the Yosemite Valley. Dreams had become reality; I climbed great walls of granite and ice in the Central Alps of Europe, California, Scotland and Patagonia.
time
The life I’d been travelling had far exceeded the expectations of my youth.
I wandered through the mountains, the peace they brought deepening the bond. I was in search of a pinnacle experience; a point I could, over time, return from.
Time was beckoning, I had witnessed the decline in many adventurers, their minds always strong, searching for adventure. Their bodies struggling from the years of demanding, training regimes and days of enduring endeavours, at 50 old years - my time was coming.
I stepped up the pace and began increasing the distance whilst out running, I had a new focus. I would head to the West coast of Scotland for an Ultra Skyrun, the ultimate line through the highest peaks and rock faces.
The mighty North Face of Ben Nevis
Below is a tale from the trail;
Skylander 58km, 5280m ascent, Max elevation 1335m 15hrs
There is a coldness in the air, and all is quiet on the mountain, the first rays of sunshine open up the mighty and majestic north face of Ben Nevis as it breaks its cover from darkness. Engulfed by Incredible feelings of strength, excitement and desire, billions of neuron’s light up the inner mind. I tune into the atmosphere, step forward into the day and drift deeper into my soul; the trail has begun, time is rolling on.
“It was not exactly an Alpine start. I needed the daybreak for my ascent of Ledge Route, the trail to the summit of Ben Nevis, Britain’s highest peak. I had driven the 350 miles to Scotland and pitched my tent in Glencoe below the Aonach Eagach ridge. As I lay alone, resting and thinking of the run, a nervousness began swirling around my mind, casting a shadow of self-doubt. I knew navigating through the north face in the dark was a risk too far, I would wait for the sun’s rays.”
View from my tent in Glencoe
“I had turned to Sky running a few years previous, when a friend introduced me to it. I loved being in the mountains and I knew them well. However, to become a sky runner I needed to train and learn so that I could develop new skills and knowledge. The very nature of the challenge strongly upholds what I consider to be the hallmarks of adventure, risk, uncertainty, and commitment. I was hooked and set off on a personal journey, through Britain highest mountain trails, running, climbing, and becoming physically stronger, while mapping my mind and gaining on-trail knowledge.”
Skylander was to be my ultimate Sky run, a personal challenge and a reflection of the past few years, I had created the route and mapped my mind with the aid of the sketch map. I had all the elements for a good day in the mountains lined up and was now about as ready as I could possibly be, a few days after my 50th birthday I set off to celebrate.
The early morning run up to the Ben had the usual mix of glee and awe, now it was time to focus as I looked to climb Ledge Route. Solid blocks of avalanche debris choked the gully, I crossed them searching for a slanting terrace and the start of the route. The temperature was below zero and verglas coated a rock slab. I delicately padded my hands and feet on the slithers of dry rock, I crossed to the terrace and then on to the ridge line. Marvelling at my position, I placed my micro running spikes on and moved from rock to snowy ridge as I headed for the summit.
Looking back to the Ben`s North face from ledge route
“I run over the summit enjoying the fine views then headed for the descent, a super steep slope of crisp snow, the micro spikes attached to my trainers scraping the surface, ice axe ready, should I slip. I headed to the golden sun-soaked granite of the CMD Arete, gnarly worn teeth of rock glowing in golden rays of sunshine. I reached the arete and breathed a sigh of relief, took the spikes off, and placed the axe in the pack. Delicately balanced, I began striding across its brow, heading to Carn Mor Dearg summit.”
From the summit heading east I dropped down the ridge line to the head of Coire Giubhsachan, then turning to the south, I began the 3k of descent, running fast and free! I arrived at the Waters of Nevis, the cool waters refreshing my feet has I crossed.
Breathing deep, I began climbing up the zigzags to An Gearanach. Heading south to Am Bodach, there was not a hint of wind, I skipped across the mighty ridge line and descended to Kinlocheven. During the descent I stopped near a rock pool, took of my trainers and socks, and sat soaking myself in the cold water. I would need to cool down completely for the next section of the run.
On the summit of Am Bodach, with Ben Nevis in the background
Am Bodach
Leaving the village behind me, I set of on the 10km of moderate trail, running under the burning mid-day sun. I was glad to enter the cool shadow that cast down from the Monumental north face of the Buachaille. The heat of the day had taken a toll, cramp was gripping my calves and my stomach was churning. I calmed and steadied myself, overwhelmed by the views, I climbed curved ridge and topped-out on the summit.
“Throughout the day I had been following the ark of the sun as it past overhead. I turned to the west, it was time to run for the sunset, heading to the uber classic ridge line of Aonach Eagach. Sunrise on the Ben and sunset on the ridge had been the dream! I had 15hrs to do it, it was time to dig in and make it happen!”
I approached the summit of Am Bodach and the entrance to the ridge, the sun was resting on the horizon. The atmosphere and raw emotion engulfed me as I placed my climbing helmet on and begin the final balancing act.
Sun sitting on the Horizon, looking from Am Bodach over the ridge of Aonach Eagach.
John Proctor is the author of ‘Child of Time: Sanctuary in the Extreme’ and ‘Mapping the Mind: The Art of Skyrunning’ which you can buy here -
