I feel I need to write about food. This is a personal account. Below is a short video we made yesterday - an introduction into something very complex made simple - I hope this may help others.

My relationship with food has always been healthy and I would consider it pretty traditional, in that I eat the way I was brought up to eat. I remember fondly watching my grandfather cooking the way I do now, standing in his kitchen under the clothes airer chopping up onions, carrots and potatoes for a stew and folding the vegetable peelings in newspaper to go in the compost.

Recently, under a lot of extra pressure and external stress I find myself becoming increasingly aware that I am comfort eating, and a lot of this involves sugar, and extra weight around my midriff! I’m not so concerned about how I look, but it is beginning to become an issue when I actually feel the extra weight when I am moving around, lifting myself up off the floor, tying my shoe laces and when I lie on my side it is like another body lying in front of me! I reckon I’m carrying an extra 2 stone - I don’t weigh myself, I can just grab it with two hands and at the front it is actually hanging over the waistband of my trousers.

My attitude towards food is also different to what I believe is the main narrative people are being sold (pushed) in mainstream media, be that on TV programmes, news, magazines, newspapers, food packaging, marketing… we are constantly being bombarded with different, quite often conflicting messages -

We are constantly being told - eat this and you will feel great; this is the magic pill to lose weight; the magic pill to heal everything; you need to eat this; you don’t need to eat that; omit this from your diet and you will feel great; you are glucose intolerant; have intolerances…. buy our vitamin supplements, processed foods, nitrates, phosphates, our food has been so tampered with it has additives, MSG, artificial sweeteners, flavourings, there is GMO food, monoculture farming, nutrient depleted soil, pesticides, we’re told all the bees are dying, the world is dying, our food is not nutritious any more; there is intensive farming, we need to eat organic, eat local, food shipped is across the globe, chicken from China is been sold in the US, we are eating bleached chicken scraped off the floor, inhumane practices, vegetarian, vegan, you are not human if you eat meat, if you don’t eat meat your body will be unwell, you’re a Hippy if you don’t eat meat, eat more greens, don’t take salt, or eggs, or pate if you are pregnant, or shrimps, drink vinegar if you’re losing your hair, you need this, you need that….. it is endless………

…….you get the idea. Even writing down what flew into my head just then illustrates the overload and chaotic mess we have been bombarded with for as long as I can remember. There must be some thread of truth running through all of this and this is what I am trying to discover. To strip away and break free from all the, what I perceive as, nonsense and social conditioning. It’s like one huge big experiment has been playing out to take us away from what is natural, God given, native, regional, locally grown or reared, and to lead us to mess and experiment with nature, overly rely on technology and science instead of the all the nourishing information and wisdom handed down to us over eons from experience. I personally find it disrespectful and ungrateful in some ways. Has this modern obsession with manufactured and processed food actually improved or enhanced our lives? If you ask me, I’d say no - return to tradition! Thankfully I have friends on this same quest.

In a nutshell - to see where I’m coming from - I realise that I enjoy everything I eat. There is nothing I won’t eat other than raw meat, raw fish or raw eggs. I don’t drink alcohol or take any drugs. I’m not vegetarian or vegan. I eat what I perceive as nourishing and healthy. I don’t drink enough water. I drink too much caffeine. I don’t take any supplements. Or medication. I don’t have set times when I eat and I sleep or exercise. I have little routine. Some weeks I eat loads and loads and some weeks I eat very little, and have been like this all my life since childhood. I tend to follow my instincts. I’m aware we need to eat a variety of foods and to have a balanced diet and not gorge on too much of the same thing - and I’m also aware that there are many people who are not as fortunate as I, who eat and survive on what they have available even if it is only a small amount of rice or millet and nothing else. The human body is incredible. The human mind and resilience is incredible.

To go back a little into my past, as I mentioned, I was raised eating what I would regard as traditional home made food, things such as Stew and Dumplings, a Sunday dinner of meat, vegetables, potatoes, Yorkshire puddings and gravy. I eat fish, salads, pasta and sauces, soups, rice and stir fries, curries, pies, vegetables, cooked breakfasts….. I buy the odd ready-made meal like a moussaka or lasagne, frozen breaded fish, fries, tinned food, some processed food. I go through phases like making bread at home in a machine/buying it, making my own preserves, batch cooking from scratch and freezing it. I quite often live on left-overs and sometimes even add new ingredients to a huge stew done in a earthenware clay pot, or our slow cooker, made the day before, to transform it into another meal. I will even eat a take-away curry the next morning for breakfast! I lived in Singapore for years and for breakfast sometimes I would have rice, fried egg, fish and chilli, I’m more of a savoury fan than of sugar. I will try new foods quite happily, and new fruits and vegetables I’ve never seen before. I’m not aware that I have any crazy habits other than my recent comfort eating - which has been highlighted this year, which includes eating Haribo jelly sweets just before I go to sleep and wriggling around uncomfortably, probably due to all the sugar and weird additives. Do you actually know what it is you are eating half the time? I can’t even pronounce half the ingredients.

In September 2005, a few weeks before my 34th birthday, I had a serious car accident on the motorway, which led me to being diagnosed with M.E. (‘Myalgic Encephalomyelitis is a long-term (chronic), fluctuating, neurological condition that causes symptoms affecting many body systems, more commonly the nervous and immune systems. M.E. affects an estimated 250,000 people in the UK, and around 17 million people worldwide.’ - https://www.actionforme.org.uk/get-information/what-is-me/what-does-me-feel-like/)

On top of that when I was 18 I’d had a car crash and my sacrum was twisted through whiplash and lodged in my pelvis, which caused serious pains in my spine and back most of my life. Another accident on a jet ski in Malaysia in 1996 - which I believe also nearly ended my life, meant I had been bashed around quite a lot - I had actually ended up in a hospital in Singapore - where I lived at the time - on a traction bed for a week which was fun I recall - I could lift myself up and down at the push of a button! (I could do with that now to lift up my lard ass - oops!)

From 2005 - 2011 I really struggled with M.E. and my spinal injuries. I remember lots of pain, problems at different times walking as swinging my leg forward was very painful. Sometimes I couldn’t feel my legs. M.E. is horrible. I was absolutely drained, exhausted. Pain in my body and head was relentless. I looked ok, and had to live knowing many people thought I was making it up, and because sometimes I was ok, and lived a pretty normal life, I would get lots of remarks like ‘pull yourself together’ which I eventually began to ignore, and understood people really didn’t understand, so it wasn’t their fault.

I had spent years trying different things to help my back problems, radiotherapy, massage, keeping myself fit, in Singapore where I lived from 1995 - 2001, I went swimming almost every day and walked everywhere and I did yoga every day for about 15 years. I was fit and healthy up until 2005.

For those of you reading this with M.E., you will understand. It is very difficult to live with. You have to learn to pace yourself. I could do one small thing in a day and end up in bed for a week or two afterwards. If, for example, a wedding came up, to prepare myself I would sleep most of the time for 2 weeks before the special day so I could get through it on the day. It’s like being trapped in your own body, my mind wanted to do things, but my body just couldn’t cope. I didn’t have depression, but it was becoming increasingly harder to remain optimistic as there was no cure.

I was told my organs would probably deteriorate earlier than others and that it could lead to heart problems, and my fitness levels decreased so much at times that I found it hard to get upstairs, never mind out the house for a walk. But this was off and on. It is sneaky, when you think you’re ok, you do too much, and pay the consequences. In the worst times, the ringing in my ears, pain in my eyes in bright light, the ability to talk for 5 minutes before my head hurt, then shutting down and needing to lie down and slip into sleep (the only place it didn’t hurt) was unbearable. My life shrank. I stopped communicating with many people because I just couldn’t handle talking. I relied on my family and close friends and they were amazing, because sometimes I was ok, and it must have been very frustrating and baffling for them too. When it was really bad, I couldn’t watch T.V, read a book, go on the computer, or do anything that needed any amount of concentration for longer than minutes at a time before indescribable pain in my head, my brain, would make me shut down. I couldn’t breathe and my whole body felt like it was bursting.

Over 6 years, obviously I looked into cures, as you would, and tried lots of different things. Food being the one I focussed on the most. I tried different diets, eating one thing, omitting another. I tried omitting dairy, it didn’t work. Sugar, it didn’t work. Gluten, didn’t work. Meat, didn’t work………. this went on and on. I tried supplements, different combinations, different amounts and I rattled with supplements at times. It didn’t work. A slight breakthrough came when I came across ‘Forever Living’ Aloe Vera. It was the only improvement to my general well being - I even signed up to them so I could buy it cheaper, and would drink some every day, and I also took bee propolis - a natural anti biotic. I was on no other medication - a saving grace when I look back as I never became dependant on any drugs or medication - my doctor said there wasn’t anything she could prescribe. I didn’t take pain killers either. Nothing.

In New Zealand

I’d had to give up teaching in 2006 and over 6 years of living with this illness, I gave up any desire to conquer the world, my ambitions, the many adventures to continue my travels in the world, doing the great British Coast to Coast walk, achieving anything significant, working outdoors, a career, having children….. In 2008 me and my husband decided to go for it and fly to New Zealand and live in a van for 6 months, which we did, and it was amazing. I was in beautiful surroundings ill, instead of at home ill! We had hoped it would cure me. We even swam with a dolphin (who actually looked like it felt sorry for me as I floated on the surface of the water in my wetsuit with loads of lead weights around my waist because I couldn’t sink and I couldn’t breathe properly through the snorkel - not as romantic or life changing as I had expected!) Being in nature did make me feel a lot happier, but I didn’t recover. (If you’re wondering how I got there - I just got there like anyone else, but just slept anytime I could and suffered knowing at the other end I would be somewhere quiet).

The trip taught me a lot, by this time, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be living with this for the rest of my life. I began to realise I could be happy with my lot, and appreciated how incredibly fortunate and lucky I actually was. I still really enjoyed the whole experience, the precious time with my husband - who is a diamond. He stood firmly by my side and still does. I let go of more attachments and expectations and found some level of contentment.

My dad and husband took me to France in 2007, hoping that the change of scenery might help me recover, and for us to have some time together, camping. It was in France, by the side of Lac Du Salagou; a large lake near to Clermont l'Herault in the Herault department of Languedoc Roussillon, that I first heard about Falun Dafa.

One day an English gentleman, about the same age as my dad, parked next to us in his mobile home. I felt instantly at ease with him and enjoyed chatting to him. He lived in Canada and had a Chinese girlfriend at the time, and had come to this area because of the roads. His passion was cycling, like my dad and my husband.

We shared one very bright starry night which I will never forget. There was little light around from nearby towns so the sky was really dark and the stars shone so brightly. The air was clear and sweet and all was quiet. We sat by his table, just the two of us, accompanied by the comforting, melodious chirping of crickets. We were drinking a fine bottle of red wine, and we started to unwind.

 He had noticed I wasn’t well and so I told him about my poor health. He listened intently and then offered me some kind advice. He told me about Falun Gong (also known as Falun Dafa) and that his girlfriend practiced it. She had told him it was very good for coordination and concentration. He said she swore by it and was in very good health and, although he didn’t practice it himself, he knew it was really good. He didn’t tell me much more about it other than that. I wrote the words ‘Falun Gong’ in the back of my journal under the name of the wine we were drinking! - and forgot all about it! Little did I know at the time, a tiny seed had been planted.

In 2009 I signed up for a short course called the Lighting Process, which was ‘NLP’ and it did help me realise I had more control over my brain than I had realised, but it didn’t cure me, although it helped me to think about things slightly differently.

In May, 2011, a few months before my 40th (life begins at 40!) I received a leaflet though my door to learn Falun Dafa (Falun Gong) a traditional Buddhist self cultivation practice, a mind and body practice free to learn in a local community centre, with 4 exercises that reminded me of Tai Chi and a sitting meditation. It said the teachings focussed on the Universal Principles of Truth, Compassion and Tolerance. After trying everything else, I decided to go and see what it was and I took my husband’s mum along too.

And it’s no secret that it was in fact by practicing Falun Dafa that I made a full recovery. The exercises helped me both physically and mentally, were gentle enough for me to cope with after being so weak for such a long time and really easy to learn. I went to a free class every week and then, because you can learn the exercises free online, and also have access to the books and other reading materials free online, I watched founder, Master Li Hongzhi on the official Falun Dafa website doing the exercises on my computer every day and copied him until I’d learnt them. I read the beginner’s book ‘Falun Gong’. It took me a year to sit in full lotus, which is not compulsory, but it is best if you can. After a few months I had become much stronger, and one day I felt a really hot sensation in my lower back where my sacrum was lodged, like hot oil being injected into my back and at the time I thought, should I get up or trust this beautiful, ancient practice? Thankfully, I decided to sweat through the pain and I remember a loud cracking pop in my back and I have had no issues with my back ever since! I put it down to faith, trust and the powerful effects of the practice. I also studied the main teachings in the book ‘Zhuan Falun’ which helped me understand what was happening to me both mentally and physically, and I haven’t looked back. It’s difficult to explain the amount of mental and physical rehabilitation I had to work through, but I honestly owe it all to the practice. I have studied and practiced daily ever since and it has done me a lot of good and helped with other things like courage, confidence, patience, endurance and really helped me be able to care for others (a dying aunt last year, and now parents - mum with a fractured spine (osteoporosis) and my dad is waiting for surgery on his spine as it’s pressing on his spinal chord) and coping with life in these difficult times. There have been numerous studies written about the healing effects of this traditional, ancient practice (https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-effect-of-falun-gong-on-health-and-wellness-margaret-trey/1137506903). I am testimony to it. It means I am working on myself, looking deep inside to figure myself out and it highlights any addictions and attachments I may have that are not beneficial to either myself or to others - so it is all good. Recently it has highlighted to me that my comfort eating is a deep rooted issue I need to unearth and overcome, and at the moment I think it is linked to grief or fear…..

Since I began the practice in 2011, I have been campaigning on a huge scale (I’ve organised briefings in Parliament, run local campaigns, coordinated art exhibitions, screened films, spent thousands of hours on the streets handing out information and lots of other things) about the persecution of Falun Dafa who are being targeted and killed by the Chinese communist party (CCP) in China for their beliefs in Truth, Compassion and Tolerance, and forcibly harvested for their organs whilst still alive - more information about this below. It has been traumatic, to say the least, and stressful and taken a tremendous amount of energy, effort and courage for me to stand up to this and not be afraid. Last year on top of this continuous effort I looked after my dying aunt who I loved dearly. It was very intense.

And now, of course, we have Covid-19 which I ‘lovingly’ call the #CCPVirus and we are locked in our homes, not really quite knowing what is going on any more! We are truly living in times of uncertainty. Yet, I believe everything will come good and am optimistic and will carry on doing what I do the best I can.

The CCP’s days are indeed numbered.

So back to today - bearing all this in mind - I have fortunately discovered for myself through my own experience that food alone cannot heal my body and mind. I conclude that food is like a tool, something needed to nourish the body and when it is out of balance I’m becoming increasingly aware of the subtle messages my body gives to me. For example, if I eat too much I can’t move; too much meat, I feel sick; too much sugar, I feel tired; my joints hurt, because there is too much acid in my body, probably from eating too much sugar and meat; if I don’t drink enough water, my skin is dry; and other noticeable sensations or manifestations. And I have yet to overcome the deep emotional pain I carry with me to make me strong enough to overcome cravings and break free! A work in progress, as they say!

https://en.falundafa.org/

https://chinatribunal.com/

Further reading - I know who I am by Becky James — Carry Forth Tradition