I bought a harp!

Well, 3 actually! Here’s what happened…

The photo is me looking very chuffed with myself with my new Skylark from Pilgrim Harps, Surrey, UK.

In my younger years, I loved both folk music and classical music. We had a dressing up drawer at home, and we were often dancing around the living room to ‘Swan Lake’, ‘The Nutcracker’ in our little Tutus, like little fairies. I remember it clearly.

Our next door neighbour was the head master at a huge school in Leeds which hosted a beautiful event each year, where children from all over the world, especially European countries would gather together. We would go watch these children, wearing their traditional costumes, dancing to their traditional music and it was so beautiful and uplifting. Really magical.

My interest in the world and it’s rich, diverse cultures has been a huge part of my life and has taken me all over the world, visiting and living in different countries allowing me to immerse myself in beautiful traditions. It’s been quite an adventure.

Over the years, I have brought home all kinds of unusual musical instruments; from a frog made of hardwood that sounded just like a frog when you drew a wooden baton across the top of it, to an ‘angklung’ (which I regret giving away) which is an ancient, traditional Indonesian instrument made of bamboo that you rattle, kind of like a horizontal glockenspiel, look it up! It’s worth it.

Me and my little sister in our Tutus aged 7 and 4.

Music is intertwined with my life. Here, I digress….

Celtic connection

On top of Ilkley Moor in a quiet little place, difficult to find unless you know where to look or remember where to look, is a srivatsa (also known as a swastika - associated with Buddha) carved into a rock outcrop, which has been there for a very long, long time. I’d visit it as a teen and it’s presence was so magical. A connection to the past. The symbol is thought to have been carved during the Iron Age, but who really knows. I’ve often seen srivatsas in Celtic arts and there certainly was a huge presence of Celts in Yorkshire. So, I feel very connected to Celtic folk music and, of course the harp - known as the clarsach, or lever harp, or knee harp.

In the ancient Celtic world, and across the world, Harpists (bards) were once revered as story tellers, mystics, magical people who were held in high esteem. They held and preserved the people’s memories, kept their geneologies, recorded battle stories, accounts, intricacies of family trees, traditions, heritage and heart of the people’s past. Harpists were present at traditional ceremonies. If you look at the origins and history of the harp, it is fascinating, and goes way back, centuries, to ancient times.

I’ve always loved the harp, yet always associated it with really good people, very highly skilled musicians, in a kind of unreachable realm of spirituality. Angels sitting on clouds, pure of heart and that I could only watch from way down below. It never ever entered my head to play the harp, never mind own one. It was just too untouchable for me. Funny how we each perceive different things differently.

a change of heart

How many times have you talked yourself out of doing something because you lacked self belief or confidence? Or, like me, you never thought you would be good enough.

The last three years have changed me fundamentally; caring for my Auntie Eileen as she died, then my dad, and then losing our dog. The lessons I learned have matured me into realising that life really is short, precious, a blessing and a gift and that has made me a different person.

After we lost Connie in October last year, I missed her barks making the strings of the harp in our antique piano sing and vibrate, cutting the air with song. Each time someone coughed, or shouted, a door closed or another sudden noise broke the silence, the piano strings would burst into song. This made it painful for me to let the piano go a few weeks later, after she died. Yet, sadly, over the years this beautiful piano had become more of a shelf than a piano, and we decided a little wood burning stove in it’s place would be more useful.

The false pretences and little fibs that I’d told myself for years, convincing myself that I would start learning to play again, that I’d practice every day, that I’d get it tuned, secretly hoping that I’d wake up one morning ‘fluent’ on the piano and with deep hidden abilities that I never knew I had (meaning that I could play with no effort), didn’t help me. I had to let it go. My mum and Paula helped me with that. Mum assured me it would go on to a better life, and Paula, that maybe something even better would fill it’s space.

As I had loved and appreciated this piano so much, I was desperate to find it a new home with someone who would love it. I’d been given it years ago by a lady with similar circumstances, she needed the room for something new to come into her life and wished for it to be looked after. It sounded like something out of an old cowboy film, from a Saloon, it was so out of tune, 1882 Silver Medal Exhibitions, Cramer, London, well loved, passed on many times to many different families, much loved and still going strong.

At the same time I was preparing to move on, our friend was laying us a new patio in the garden. His little 6 year old girl would sometimes come with him, and she loved playing on this old piano so much, that I gave it to her.

I don’t even know how it happened

Missing the piano’s internal harp, giving up on the clarinet, being afraid that whatever instrument I wished to play next would end up covered in dust, or being given away, fitting into my old patterns, I still found myself looking for my instrument. I knew it was out there somewhere waiting for me.

We have lots of random musical instruments in our house, none of them I can play. A bugle, a tin whistle, drums, little drum, an American Indian drone flute, (piano), clarinet, a ukulele, a banjo, various percussion, a few harmonicas, bells… probably other instruments I have squirreled away somewhere, collecting dust. A friend in the US was telling me about her dulcimer - have you even hear of it? I hadn’t. It sounds like a banjo on it’s side to me, very cool, very cute, beautiful to look at. I considered it but talked myself out of it after a while.

For years, I have really loved the sound of the ancient Chinese instrument, the beloved of sages; the guqin. It evokes a sense of tranquillity; of an ancient Dao sitting on the ground, long robes flowing with willow boughs gently floating above in the breeze. Ripples passing across the surface of a lake amongst lotus flowers. In the background, waterfalls sending out billows of mist as they cascade down mountains and geese flying in the moonlight across the horizon into far away lands. Oh how lovely.

The guqin, endowed with spirituality and mystery, is a kind of zither like the guzheng but with only 7 strings, and is made of wood. With the top representing heaven and the underside representing earth, it is played horizontally lying across a sturdy surface. Depending on your way of playing, long silences between the notes can leave room for the mind to ponder. I like that. However, I really didn’t want to import one and I don’t really have much faith that anything from China these days would be authentic and not a crappy copy. So, sadly, I ruled it out.

the harp

After days of discovery reading about different instruments I eventually found myself, inspired by the harp in my piano, looking at harps.

And I didn’t feel unworthy. This was a surprise to me, I was actually considering getting a harp!

Before I knew where I was, I had contacted a harp teacher near me in Bristol, arranged to go have an introductory free lesson, had sourced places in the UK that made harps, looked them up and had fine tuned what I wanted to play and where I wanted it to come from. It happened so fast.

inheritance

At the same time, mum had called me to say that our dear dad had left some money for me and my sister. She told me that I had to do something good with it and so then I found myself and Neil driving to Surrey to visit Pilgrim Harp’s workshop to look at a harp I had seen the night before.

And I came home with it!

I bought a 34 string, cherry wood, hand made lever harp - a Skylark - from Pilgrim Harps in Surrey.

All I can say is; it felt right.

And it has been a beautiful journey deep into my heart. Settling the harp on my shoulder, feeling the beautiful, clear sound resonating with all my molecules, enveloping me in it’s vibrational tones and melodies is something I find hard to describe. I can’t express how interconnected I feel with this incredibly beautiful instrument.

Pilgrim Harps, in an old converted coach house near South Godston, Surrey, proved to be exactly what I was looking for; hand crafted harps made by experts in England. Truly beautiful workmanship. The team were fantastic, dedicated and highly skilled. I will write separately about my experience at Pilgrim Harps, we spent half a day there and had a wonderful tour of the workshop. It’s a day I will remember.

a cultivation tool

Ancient sages, Daoists, and others often had a musical instrument, like the guqin, to assist their cultivation - ‘self improvement’. It helped them to cultivate character, understand morality, show devotion to gods and enhance life. I didn’t find my guqin - but maybe it’s because my instrument is the harp.

What I have noticed is that it has been a powerful tool assisting me to connect to my heart, to be more confident, be more outgoing, have more self belief, share inspiration. It’s giving me the will to participate more in life in these difficult times. It forces me to be bright and it touches me so deeply that it is helping me to heal many unseen parts that I didn’t know needed help. It’s unearthing parts of my character that are completely new, very subtle, and it is encouraging.

And it doesn’t stop there. It’s broadened my mind too, and it makes me want to play music for others to soothe them. The harp is often used in therapy.

In the ancient, traditional Chinese language, the character for music and medicine is the same. Music is medicine. You can read about that here in these two articles -

a little side note: shen yun - my favourite show on earth

If you haven’t already heard about Shen Yun, please take a look at this and if I could ask you to do one thing in your life, please let it be for you to go see Shen Yun.

Shen Yun is honestly all my favourite things in one place. It is incredibly beautiful. Shen Yun Performing Arts has a mission of reviving classical Chinese dance, and Chinese culture with a live orchestra magically combining a western orchestra with ancient, traditional Chinese instruments such at the Erhu, Pipa and other magnificent instruments. The dancers flow across the stage as if one, with their silk costumes flowing beside them. Often the colours look like they are floating into the audience. True magic. And it is coming form a place of compassion, I know this for sure.

harp lessons

So far, I have had 5 lessons with my incredibly talented harp teacher, Martin Solomon, who I found on Pilgrim Harp’s website. Martin plays the Celtic harp, fiddle, double-bass, sitar, accordion, mandolin and Theremin, and teaches across the South West. He is based in Bristol, and he totally gets me, so we work really well together.

My first lesson was November 19th, 2021. I’d hired this green harp in the photo from Martin for a few weeks until I’d bought my own harp, which is huge.

My Skylark harp which I named ‘Ernest’ after my dad ‘Ernest John Holmes’, soon had a little sister ‘Constance’ named after our dog ‘Connie’. Virtuous names with deep meanings for wonderful beings and now my two harps.

Because I often travel up north to mum’s, I ‘had to’ buy a smaller harp for transporting around. It is a 26 string ‘Fulllsicle’ from ‘Rees Harps’ in Indiana, USA, which I also bought from Pilgrim Harps.

Then a few weeks later, a tiny 16 stringed harp ‘arrived’ which I bought for future use - in case anyone near me wishes to come and try.

This was hand made by Derwent Harps in Wales. This one is just called my ‘little Harp’ and it is so easy to take around with me to practice on, my fingers need to strengthen, my skin needs to harden, and my muscle memory needs to develop, so I practice every day. Also this little harp needs tuning every day until it’s strings stretch and the body board lifts. One day I’ll write about this.

Underneath the sound boar, I love the shape of the holes, like the ‘D’ for Derwent Harps, it is so beautiful. Their website is amazing and it’s clear that those involved also love the harp and it’s also good to see so many little harp communities growing. In fact, I’d love to start a harp circle in Bristol, and have spoken to my harp teacher about it.

Equally lovely was that today, one of mum’s friends popped in to see us, and she plays the harp! She said she hasn’t met another harp player in person until today! It’s like I opened a door into a magical new world. And I love it!

perseverance, patience and believing in yourself

I’m under no illusions. Learning a new instrument is daunting. The posture, sitting position, plucking the strings, technical things, how the harp works, how to look after it, to tune it, to not damage it, remembering how to read music, the fundamentals, how to make my fingers strong, how to play when you can’t see the strings (wear glasses) how to use music, how to play from memory. And so on.

I’m more of an intuitive musician. As a child I could work out how to play songs on the piano after listening to them, and found reading music really hard, but now I appreciate being able to do that, as putting two different hands together and playing two different tunes on the harp is easier when I can read notes someone has written down. They have worked it all out. But I can still learn to play some music I like just from listening to it, it takes me ages to get there, but I can do it.

Playing an instrument with two hands, with two different melodies together, is like rubbing your belly and head at the same time. It needs total focus and concentration, practice and determination. My daily meditation certainly helps me. I find with my mind clear and still, I play better. If my mind is all over the place I struggle a bit more, so I’m fortunate I have a cultivation practice to follow and guide me through life. And it also means I can sit comfortably cross legged on the floor, or on a bed to play! You can see the photo of me posing on mum’s bed yesterday playing my Fullsicle.

Now, I am not at all aspiring to be a classical musician, be in a band, be famous or achieve anything, do grades, or even have a purpose or a goal. I’m just playing my harp. I know 2 tunes up until now. That is all. I can play them by heart. Literally.

I’m not putting myself under any pressure. I’m allowing things to unfold naturally, and it’s been a very gentle and beautiful journey so far. Below are some audio clips in chronological order - of the last few months, to chart my progress mainly for myself as encouragement, but also because I have found many of my friends and family have enjoyed listening and asked for me to keep them updated.

If you listen, you can hear my timing is all over the place, I miss notes and hit the wrong strings, I forget notes and I sometimes stop and start again. Yet, I have made progress and I appreciate that it is because I am not under any pressure. My heart is singing and I’ll just see where it goes.

this music is for you -

I am learning 2 tunes, which I keep practicing. I’m learning a lot this way, it may be unconventional, but it is helping me with many things. One of them is from Pilgrim Harps YouTube Channel (video below) called ‘Coffee’ by G Haggerty arranged by Fran Barsby, the other is ‘The Grenadier and the Lady’ in the book ‘Teach Yourself to play the folk harp’ by Sylvia Woods.

The music clips are in chronological order left. I hope it encourages you to have a go at something musical and that it makes you feel good -